A typical mundane day nothing spectacular. A day that passes with kvetching and killing time.
Nothing changed since yesterday. Once again I find myself sitting at the computer impatiently pressing keys, letters appearing on the screen. Looking out of my window, I see the houses outside aren’t changing colors, cars passing by slowly, the scene outside isn’t transforming. I lose focus and start dreaming staring at the world and realizing that nothing changes on its own.
My years are quickly slipping past me (I’m sitting at this window a nice couple of years already) for these few years that I`m on this world, I’m constantly repeating the same things over and over again. I eat, drink, sleep come home, go out a little, and pass that same window all the time.
This time though, I’ll put myself in the shoes of the one looking in through the window, would someone have been standing outside my window & looking in, what would he been thinking?
I give him the floor.
We moved in here some 25 years ago a scrimp 5 years before you. 5 years thereafter we watched you arrive.
At first I watched you crawl, as time passed your mother sent you off in the morning to a full day in cheider. I watched you study for your tests, wanting to do well on them. You played rabbi with a mike made of paper. you played with your siblings so sweetly and I’ve seen your face shine when you showed off your 100% to your parents.
Then there were the hard times and your mother sat with you at the window and calmed you down. I watched your father sternly reprimand you and at times I’ve seen you cry, a tear slowly slipping out but you didn’t see.
I’ve also watched you start learning the next level of משנוית, גמרא. I saw you trying your new suit and your brand new bar mitzvah hat. Once again I saw you showing it off. I watched you in the predawn hours going to shul. The cold rain or snow would not deter you.
On the days when you came home with a disappointed look on your face. I wanted to hold your hand, tell you a good word, give you a gentle smile but I couldn’t reach so far.
Come the summer and you trekked off to camp. I hoped you were happy, had what you needed and enjoyed your summer there. I happily retrieved to my post at the window when you finally returned. I detected small hairs above your upper lip, a mustache! A beard began to grow and your chalat amazed me. He’s growing so fast.
Yeshiva years flew I saw you fly along . I saw your forehead creased under the pressure of your major worries like Chavruses, success and good dorm mates.
Your tension reached its peak.
I saw your feet stretching each year, you grew so much taller as the years passed. How many times I waited for your recognition, waved my hands, winked, tried so hard to get your attention But you were to enveloped in your own world and didn’t see mine.
Time does not stand still as if to beckon היום קצר. Soon you’ll be moving into a new house, building your own family I wanted to tell you, don’t feel so big so grown up, you still have a lot to learn but you did not hear me then either.
But now that I met you I want to tell you my dear friend, time is short. Your minutes are running out. I’ve seen a lot of you but what have you accomplished in that time?
When your child will stand at the window will you give him your hand? Take your life into your own hands!